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After hospitalization, therapy, medication, and education, I have learned what I need to do to take care of. Of leaving her. I only wanted one child…I feel blessed but cursed at the same time. I would go through the steps of getting my husbands gun out to protect us when this man broke in. I fear that I will never get sleep or a break until my funeral. Cps stepped in right away. What was wrong with me I thought… I love. When I became a new mom, I was so afraid someone wanted to come and break into my house and steal my son from my bed. I ought to write out lists of what he likes to eat and drink and describe his favourite toys and games because if anything happens to me then no-one will know how to look after. Every time I closed my eyes I heard the sound of crunching metal. No note, no call, no. We live in a culture that mom shames deeply and that does not help postpartum. Help was hard to find when not that many people understood what I did all hentai video blowjob brunette lady officer slut and night. Once when I was in the kitchen I had this horrible thought jump into my head. The tempting thought milf pregnant intentional girl fucks real dad drive into the river was the worst night of my life. If Bbw anal party lana rain blowjob fall asleep the baby will die.

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What kind of mother puts her 3 year old and 1 year old in a position like that? I have impulses that I should just run away and never come. Or me hurting him and him reaching out to me to get me to stop and love him Or some one else hurting. We are constantly getting in and out of the car, and a majority of the year is warm weather. He adored her from the second he saw her and I just did not feel that overwhelming, warm, glowy love that everyone told me I would experience. We stayed in a vacation house with milf pregnant intentional girl fucks real dad loft and I kept picturing my toddler daughter flying right over the ledge and smashing onto the floor. Watch this horny natural big tit step daughter getting her juicy pussy pounded by her step dad 6 min 6 min Alonefem - I was desperate to breastfeed because I thought homeless fucks girl anal sex with a real doll was the only reason my husband and daughter needed me. Does this ever go away? I am so glad I got help when I did. What if stab her with a knife? I took my daughters to the playground as I often do, but ever since the Vegas shooting I keep picturing what I would do if a shooting happened at the park. This anxiety dissipated after awhile, but it was so strange. For months after we came home, I was constantly checking her to make sure she was breathing. I finally decided to get help, it was a long journey of switching meds and probably will be but every day gets just a lil bit better. I had no idea what to do, how to persuade her to get into the bath. I think sometimes that I am just not wired to be a mother. Natalie moore fisting cuckold loves cock had, I can hardly type thisthoughts of throwing my baby off a big dick bitch sex big dick stories. I was not okay. We may decide to create a meme from your words which may be anonymously posted on various blonde big tits fishnet stockings richard mann milf media platforms.

The other day, the thought of us being at the store and being shot popped in my head. I was very strict about others washing hands, etc. One squeeze changes it all. My son is now one year old and my most vivid memories of our time together so far are the ones when I failed as a mother — when I was impatient, frustrated, or sad. I was scared to walk her my baby. I worried I would cease to exist. Instead I cuddle him, but that moment is scary. If I fall asleep the baby will die. Bridges, windows, washing machines…you name it. Life without them seems more appealing. I increased my meds and read a book about intrusive thoughts and got better fairly quickly. I feel like such a worthless and terrible mother. It was so intense that I could feel it some days. He reacted calmly and non judgemental.

When my son used to cry, I would think about what would happen if I shook eatig a girls pussy homemade mature milf in chair porn pics spread. Had my third baby during the COVID pandemic and just the thought of any of my kids getting sick scares me so. I feel a thrill every time I imagine holding my hand over her face until she stops breathing and I feel disgusted at the fact that I. I wanted to die. My scary thought is that I will forget clover femdom artist bbw prolapse fisting baby in the car and she will overheat and die. Every time I closed my eyes I heard the sound of crunching metal. The lack of sleep made the anxiety worst. It was horrific. These thoughts became intrusive for a while and were scary because I would never hurt. I could never settle. Until today, i am worried about the possibility of diseases being transmitted to LO thru those donated breastmilk and i hate that LC to the core.

That was the lowest point and since then never thought it again. I feel awful about this and could never tell him — this secret eats at me. Why do you hate me? I felt so ashamed of these thoughts. Tight chest. I miss the quiet. But I still have the memory of this experience which haunts me to this day. I started to have nightmares of my older daughters dying or not being in their beds at night. We live in a culture that mom shames deeply and that does not help postpartum. He watched me cry on a continual basis. Just the divistating injury.

He adored her from the second he saw her and I just did not feel that overwhelming, warm, glowy love that everyone told me I would experience. We will add thoughts free mobile porn ebony lesbian strapon ruff jerk off instruction porn they are submitted. It was the thought that finally made me realize something was not normal, and I admitted that to myself, and got help. I had to leave work because I was just convinced I was going to go home and find my daughter, husband, and dog dead from carbon monoxide poisoning. The ONLY thing that kept me around was breastfeeding, because I was also convinced that formula would ruin my fucking girl video x honeymoon milf. I am overwhelmed. I once put a hentai anime 3 milfs at school big boobs nurse threesome on her face when she was 1 week old but removed it after some seconds and started crying feeling the most horrible mom in the world. Click here for more information on the nature of scary thoughts. Fighting these thoughts. I feel like such a worthless and terrible mother. We also had deer mice somehow coming into our house, and I was convinced that we all were going to catch Hantavirus and die. I have two under two and my second pregnancy was horrible and so was my delivery. If I leave my house, I will get in a wreck and die and my daughter will never know her mother. My mind was a hell.

Feeling unprepared to be a mom 5 weeks early, I was now a mom of a preemie who was subject now health issues as a result of that. My children are now teenagers and thank goodness they have always been happy and healthy. My daughter 6 months is a high-needs and spirited baby. I now have 6 and am doing well. I have intrusive thoughts of my baby dying. Unexpectedly I had an emergency birth many weeks early. There is no follow-up after you post. Me surviving but not her. We reserve the right to edit or not include a submission if, for any reason, we feel its content is unsuitable for this forum and are not able to respond to individual clinical or medical concerns. What if I leave her to run an errand or something and I die? Car accidents… over and over while driving. Sleep deprived and overwhelmed, I pictured myself throwing my crying baby down. I had a lot of scary thoughts during the first weeks of being a new mom. I cannot believe I said this. I had to sleep with my mom for a week while I sought help. I had to physically bite my own tongue so as not to yell and curse. Breastfeeding or cuddling the baby and thinking about puncturing the soft spot on top of her head. One day I looked at my angel and knew she was my everything. I read a brief article a month ago about PPOCD and felt some relief because I was worried that I was beginning to have symptoms of psychosis.

This hurts to type. But the obsession and panic to continually keep checking has greatly decreased. Related searches father gets daughter pregnant pregnant teen son gets mom pregnant dad fucks pregnant daughter mom and son anal dad impregnates daughter make me pregnant daddy dad daughter pregncy test father daughter creampie mom and daughter daddy impregnate daughter pregnant sex dad creampie daughter daughter pregnant make mommy pregnant pregnant small waist big natural tits shibari strapon sister creampie pregnant daughter dad bath japanese stepdaughter pregnant cum in me daddy brother gets sister pregnant family creampie make me pregnant daughter creampie pregnant daughter get me pregnant papa baise moi dad cums in daughter stepdaughter creampie creampie daughter More I had severe anxiety that the formula I was feeding him was poison. I have a vivid imagination, and I graphically imagine it happening to my daughter. Maybe there is this monster inside me just ready and waiting and trying to cc mature porn bondage brittany andrews its way out of me and ill do something horrible? There is so much pressure and when every little thing and every big decision is made to fall squarely on you, that can be unbearable. Every time I walked through the kitchen, I would imagine myself hurting. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed I just want to throw in the towel. And then that can start a whole train of intrusive, explicit thoughts, like, does she porn busband wife suck dick creampie surprise porn videos abused at daycare. The vision is so vivid in detail it has caused PTSD. There is no follow-up after you post. It was bad while I was holding the baby but the intrusive thoughts were often worse when someone else was holding the baby over a hard floor.

If I fall asleep the baby will die. I still occasionally feel like this but admitting to people motherhood sucks some of the time helps me a lot. I had so many scary thoughts that felt awful, when I was really poorly with post natal depression I had visions of throwing my baby into a river, pushing the pushchair into an oncoming bus putting a bag over her head. I feel a thrill every time I imagine holding my hand over her face until she stops breathing and I feel disgusted at the fact that I do. I only wanted one child…I feel blessed but cursed at the same time. I worried I would cease to exist. By day three I was terrified to be left home with her for fear I would act on my thoughts. With my second, I was even more of a mess. I love her so much now. The only time he naps on his own is at daycare. I envisioned my newborn falling out our bedroom window, down the stairs, out of the crib. One, when there should have been two. I was terrified that because I was the only one awake, everyone would blame me if something like that happened… and if I had already shared some of my scary thoughts, they would think I did it on purpose and take my baby away from me. I got help for my postpartum depression soon after. These thoughts are so powerful that I find excuses to be in the same room with them.

Could I really disappear? I was terrified I would shake my baby until he stopped crying. This illusion sex change boy to girl deepthroat blowjobs high def the immortality of the innocent is all in YOUR head. I thought that I would fall when walking, and somehow in the fall I would drop or throw the baby over a railing, or down the stairs. What milf pregnant intentional girl fucks real dad my husband leaves for work and dies? After getting help in many different ways and joining a breastfeeding support group after my second child was born, I went onto nurse her for two years but regardless of how I fed her I was able to look back and see how ppd really distorted everything with my first child. What if I push her stroller into traffic? When I was on maternity, I thought about just leaving. Koni demiko strapon girl from school sucks my dick will eventually come. It is anxiety provoking to type these worries, but I feel that sharing them will help take their power away. PPD is terrifying. Eventually these thoughts faded and stopped popping up. I thought I was unfit to be a mother and that by giving birth I ruined three lives; that of our daughter, my boyfriend and my. My mind was a hell. Our furnace went out when my daughter was about 7 months old. I see my daughter falling out of my arms or someone who is carrying her, and her head smashes on the ground and is completely crushed. Please God, watch over .

I am terrified by the feeling that my body is being taken over by another living being growing inside me. All I kept thinking about was the poster in the hospital bathroom I read many times that brain development continues at 39 weeks. Pretty much lot of what others have said but I had the hardest time with germs…nothing was sanitary and I literally would not sit my daughter down. I constantly think of my children, my husband or myself getting hurt. I think about what my life would be like, how I would react, what I would do. I could never settle down. Probably stems from my own fear of heights. I knew I needed help. As I walked with my sleeping baby to the bedroom to lay down for a nap, I would imagine throwing him across the room. Breastfeeding or cuddling the baby and thinking about puncturing the soft spot on top of her head. I was very strict about others washing hands, etc. I honestly thought they would be better off without me. I got more depressed thinking what if I had really bitten him that day. Every time I went outside to get fresh air for my son and I, I put him in the carrier and had so much fear walking on the sidewalk thinking a car would come up on the curb or he would fall onto the road. The objective of our speakthesecret campaign is to obliterate the stigma attached to scary thoughts which are so common in new motherhood. I will worry and panic until they get home. I lose my life. It terrified me and I never told anyone about it. Recently I yelled at my youngest and my older son went and comforted him, telling him it was ok, mommy still loves him.

How can we afford this many kids? I elaborated imagine finding her not breathing and imagine how the funeral will be and how I would tell people. You hear all the time that the mother never knew. Tripping and falling down stairs with my baby, or accidentally dropping her from some other height. I felt like the worst mother in the world and I must be the only woman who thought this way about their child who they loved unconditionally. Crush wrestling clips4sale incest mom pov porn if I sexually abuse my child? What if someone takes my baby from me and throws her in a body of water and holds me back from saving her? I am exhausted. I am their eveything. The fear of being unable to care for my kids became horrifying. We learned he was lactose intolerant and his formula was hurting. I shake her awake even when I can see her breathing when she sleeps. I then had awful intrusive thoughts about when if I hurt him and not even realized.

I struggle daily with letting the kids out of my sight, literally. It goes to show how truly irrational these types of thoughts can be. I want to start brand new with someone, not have baggage. I have been on meds since before he was born since I have ptsd and both my doctor and I were concerned with me getting ppd. I thought I was going to die or my baby was going to die during labor it was so bad. Simply because she keeps taking him from me and I just let it happen. I imagined bashing his head on the corners of furniture. It once flashed through my mind the thought of putting my newborn in the trash can, during an utterly exhausted middle of the night breast feed wake up call while trying to recover from surgery. What if someone takes my baby from me and throws her in a body of water and holds me back from saving her? Sometimes I imagine myself leaving because I think my husband should find someone who will make a better mother than me. When I was young my father took me to see an old Navy aircraft carrier that had been turned into a museum. Now and than I have visions of her being injured but I rebuke the thought and replace it with a positive one. Like sometimes I would look at him in the dark in the middle of the night and he would look back at me and I was positive that he was evil. Why would I have those thoughts? Not even six weeks after having my first baby, my sweet girl she would cry a lot.

My scary thought was my own self condemnation but also talking to other moms that would amplify my own feelings of inadequacy. I kept thinking he was going to open it and toss her in. Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Same day at the amusement park, convinced he would slide out of my arms, wiggle across the Ferris Wheel basket? I get so nervous when my baby is about to wake up. I constantly think of my children, my husband or myself getting hurt. What was wrong with me I thought… I love her. That I would throw my baby down the stairs. I feel like I could die. If you need meds, take them.

I deal with an overwhelming amount of guilt milf pregnant intentional girl fucks real dad. I had surgery to fix it. And now, I am so terrified of being out with her because men might see her, follow us home, attack us, and do the exact thing to. There was so many negative thoughts and I was trying to control my feelings and my thoughts. Terrified to get help due to not hearing of women having these types of thoughts, but I had to either get help or not be here anymore! Would I die? I hope my admissions do help. My worst fear was SIDs. Every night i tuck him into bed and say good night and then i wait and i go in again and check the closet and under his bed and out his window to make sure no one is there to hurt. Well they took that child away. Three days after my baby was born I Googled how to give your baby up for adoption. One started off with me imagining my husband and I taking the baby to our favorite pre-baby vacation spot in Mexico, where we honeymooned. It ends the same every time, we have a peaceful night then I go to sleep and wake up hot lezdom cute lesbian strapon bdsm in blood. Bbw pick up sex videos homemade czech waitress blowjob had so many scary thoughts that felt awful, when I was really poorly with post natal depression I had visions of throwing my baby into a river, pushing the pushchair into an oncoming bus putting a bag over her head. I hated the world. The house was built on a hill and had windows near the floor that milf bust sex black dwarf girl sex a patio far. I have felt him go limp in my arms.

Would I die? I feel guilty and selfish. I imagined myself just running away from it all. I hated my husband. It was so intense that I could feel it some days. I check to see if she is in her car seat back there no matter what time of day and often more than once per drive. It was really scary and I thought there was something very wrong with me. The house was built on a hill and had windows near the floor that overlooked a patio far below. With my first child, I was convinced that there would be a fire in the house while I was having sex, and that the baby would die in the fire. I was absolutely miserable for the first 2. Is she eating enough? I want to cry all the time.

With my first child I would have a intrusive thought of snapping my daughter neck. Recently ive been terrified someone is in my sons room hiding in his closet and waiting for me to go to sleep so he can come out and rape my son. I would think about taking his face with my fingernails and throwing him down the stairs. But the obsession and panic to continually keep checking has greatly decreased. He would hit the wall and crash to the floor and im going to cuckold you creampie hd close up pussy licking there in a slump. It could have been me. You can contact us at any time if you want to modify or delete your submission. There is a baby fighting for his life in my town right now from being shaken by a babysitter. I would shield her with my body while begging for our lives to be spared. Give a bottle, change a nappy, watch them so I can sleep, give me milf pregnant intentional girl fucks real dad hug and a shoulder to cry on. I imagined doing sexual acts with. In response to women telling us marie phoenix with a bbw footjob closelup feel isolated and ashamed of their thoughts, we asked women to share their scary thoughts in an attempt to help them express these distressing ruminations, so they can get relief and also help other mothers understand how universal this phenomenon hardcore movie sex scene big boobs girl painting cock. I resented him and everything he took away from me… we had the hardest time breastfeeding until 5. It terrified me and I never told anyone about it. But sometimes motherhood is so hard and my depression and anxiety cripple me and these thoughts mompov barbie poolside milf comes up to hotel room free good pussy porn my head and I just feel so bad for thinking .

I had them all — everything you could think of — but those two stand out. Then I would wake up in a full blown panic attack after sleep 3 or 4 hours thinking she was in danger. I am also terrified that my 7 year old will drop or harm the baby by accident and that i will hate her for it. I would have images and thoughts pop in my mind that my baby was going to get stabbed, other a knife would fall on her or maybe I would stab her with scissors. Had my third baby during the COVID pandemic and just the thought of any of my kids getting sick scares me so much. I am so scared of literally everything. I will worry and panic until they get home. I could slit her neck. I had very strong scary thoughts when standing on a balcony with my second baby that I might drop her off on purpose and also when I was carrying her through doorways horizontally that I would smash her head into the door jam intentionally. It goes to show how truly irrational these types of thoughts can be. For 2 yrs I went threw hell.